Friends’ daughters are all my daughters! Really, they make up for what I lack and long for always: A DAUGHTER. Of course my granddaughter filled up that vacuum.
Daughters are always the fashion advisors for moms. I am at a great disadvantage that way with nobody to tell me what is the latest trend. That is when I miss a daughter most!
But I do have friends’ daughters giving me grooming tips! What to buy. What is in. What should go with what.
I am that ‘fair & lovely’ girl who never used another day cream in my life. At night sometimes if I would remember, the good old Ayurvedic Kumkumadi tailam which is oil actually. Nothing more. When I started an anti-ageing cream in my 40s, a friend asked me to stop it because anti-ageing formula is addictive to the skin. Its also expensive. You have to keep feeding your skin the lotions lifelong. I immediately gave that up and moved to simple moisturizers mostly from Bodyshop. Why Bodyshop? Because their products are vegan, for no other reason. Plus supposedly organic.
Friend’s daughter said that was not enough. She said I had to start using vitamin c serum. It was she who put me on that routine – after I crossed into my 50s! Seriously never knew of this basic skin care idea! Then one day I applied the serum and went out in the desert sun. When I told her she was appalled! ‘Aunty you can’t do that!’ Your facial pores will be open on vitamin c application and you will be tanned like tar!’ It was too late and the damage was done! I was under direct sun with vitamin c serum for hours for continuous 2-3 days when there was national holiday. By fourth day my skin looked beyond repair. It took months to get back my normal tone. Its from that day I started googling about skin care – or if I started a new routine. You needed to know the followups and the do’s and don’ts. Now I go as per her advice: vitamin c + moisturizer + spf cream for sun protection even if I am home and for the evenings too because we have radiation from our phones and laptop monitor. I can’t believe I wasn’t even aware of this fundamental skin care until I hit my half century! Well, that’s what we need a daughter for! But I hope my coconut oil applications for decades and healthy skin maintenance the natural way have somewhat helped me even if I failed to keep up with the chemical skin care routine of the modern world. If not for this girl, I would have never bought a vitamin c serum in my life! But then, none of my school friends use one either! They won’t listen to me either and condemned my recommendation to the backburners of their mind! They don’t have to. They are all beauties without any of this extra attention to grooming.
My friend’s daughter also took one look at my eye bags and dark circles and recommended certain brands of under-eye creams. I follow her advice but I also apply aloe vera fresh gel plucked from my plant. On and off I would use the aloe vera extract straight on my face and neck along with honey. For de-tan or tan removal, I used to mix lemon juice in honey or simply rub a tomato slice on to my face. Mostly I have followed natural methods only so far. But on taking special care of my eye bags, I see a lot of improvement. Its slow progress but its happening.
On my ex friends’ gang’s insistence I once tried Keratin straightening. But when I googled it, I was shocked to discover that the chemicals in the treatment included formaldehyde which is a toxic carcinogen. I stopped forthwith plus I hated the straight hair and missed my frizzzzzzzz!
My friends’ daughter asked me to avoid shampoos with paraben and sulphate. So I dropped all the global brands and settled mostly for Bodyshop again. Two years back the girl asked me to quit Bodyshop so I did! Introduced me to Sephora where I never gave ample business! Before she spoke about them, I never even noticed the Faceshop or Mac honestly! She recommended coffee in everything! Coffee base for under-eye cream. Coffee for hair, everything coffee coffee coffee for an already hyper coffee lover! So I switched over to Herbal Essence coffee (shampoo)!
Just today the brat said I can’t be using shampoos with di-sodium EDTA and tri-sodium EDTA and perfume in my shampoos when I picked up a coffee shampoo from Watson’s. I got confused. Because, I never knew that shampoos contained perfumes in them! She put back whatever I took in the basket and gave me what she thought was safe! I put back what she selected for me from the store reading the price tag! The girl then asked me to get Husk from Lulu then that would fit my budget! Still the price is 30 riyal which is 10 real more than the 19 riyal Herbal essence! But considering her valuable inputs and health advice, I shall consider her recommendations!
The young lady also suggests a complete overhaul of my skin care routine but I said a big NO! This is more than enough for me! I am still happy with the Oud from the souq that I buy for 40 riyal. I have never bought a Burberry or Armani in my life! Only in last 2-3 years I am for the spray. I like the mild Marks & spencers ones. Never otherwise used perfumes. The girl admits the perfumes through our nasal breath enter our systems and affect the cell molecules. A chief reason for increasing infertility in women is this.
Anyway, passing on this tip when it comes to shampoo selection: check the constituents. I used to check for paraben and sulphates. Now I must also ensure that my shampoo also won’t contain the so=called di sodium EDTA and tri sodium EDTA and perfumes – besides parabens and sulphates ! These toxic chemicals are supposedly carcinogens.
My friend’s daughter recommended Nathabit from India, the Ayurvedic brand. Of course I got just that without knowing about it this time from Chennai. I got their lip balm and body moisturizers. I am loving them. For undereye cream as well, this time I got everything from India – all Ayurvedic products. In India, I always opt for Ayurvedic range.
I am also blank on fashion front. I check what is the latest and go for whatever. When we go shopping together, the kid dismisses most of my selections and picks up something for me. Priceless! Or if I want a suggestion she gives me. I really miss a daughter terribly in my life who could give me so much of grooming advice! What colour to choose, what to wear, how to take care of your skin, what is the latest picture, what is going on in Chennai, where to eat etc. I love the ice cream recommendations from here. Sorry can’t still recall the names. Will update soon. We don’t get that in India as yet. Heaven! I really don’t even know the cars of the city these days. I noticed the MG for the first time only this year after the girl got it. Yeah she drives an MG in India! My friends’ daughters are all queens! Until she told me I wasn’t aware that we have this car in Chennai!
When our only kid chooses to live abroad, this is what parents lose. Information on the latest trends. Mobile phones – we simply buy the latest on the scene, that’s all. From fitness to food ideas, cinemas to holidays, from giving us moral support to being ours for our lifetime, daughters are such a dependable pillars to families. Especially mothers.
I owe a lot to my friend’s daughter who is also like my own. Otherwise who will try to spruce the clumsy me up! I am popular for choosing wrong colours and mismatching accessories!
When we spend our time with the younger generation, we feel refreshed. Our mind is free. A daughter’s love can be so heartwarming.
Rounding off with my favourite song. My granddaughter is a blessing like none other. She fills such a huge gaping hole of vacuum in our lives with the sparkle of her presence.
vijiravindran's 