Listening to this psychic, I am doing a lot of rethinking on so many things. Like she said, ‘POUR ON TO SOMEONE’S CUP ONLY WHAT THEIR CUP CAN HOLD.’ Anything in excess is going to overspill and go waste. I have done that mistake all my life. Its like the psychic passed on this personal message to me. Because when you lose both your parents within 25 years of your life and grow up emotionally dependent looking for a sense of security right from your teens, you end up becoming a people-pleaser. You want to get into everyone’s good book. You turn out to be the messiah. People use you without remorse. You are someone anyone can take for granted. Anyone can bullshit on you and get away unscathed. You want to keep every single tie, relationship. You don’t realize you have become the sacrificial lamb. You fill every cup that comes your way with too much of love, care, affection, respect, gratitude, loyalty that you don’t see how much of it is getting wasted, overflowing, because those into whose cup you poured your emotion cannot take that much. They are incapable of receiving so much of what you pour out, that you start looking like a fool at the end of the day. But its okay, you do everything on goodwill hoping for the best.
But what the psychic said made a lot of sense to me. She asked us to give someone only what they can take, what they are capable of receiving. Plying them with material gifts or your precious time and valuable energy and undeserved attention, consideration and respect will not give us anything in return. On the contrary you lose your significance in their life.
This is such a beautiful truth that I am having second thoughts on the benevolence I have showered lifelong on thankless people. Why, in some cases, I have even been abused in spite of being the good Samaritan. Opportunists take advantage of our kindness which is our weakness.
Its time those of us who are born with an empathetic heart rework on ourselves and set our priorities right. This is very necessary if we want to respect ourselves. This we do for our own heart, our own sanity. Its vital to align the harmless from the toxic. Make that distinction clear on warfooting basis. Anything or anyone that oversteps that boundary should hold no place in your scheme of things. Its not easy to forget old habits. People can try to win us over with emotional blackmail. Its precisely in these wavering moments that we must hold strong. A sense of peace and calm prevails in my world now after I withdrew almost totally from the social media including from most of whatsapp groups. All those reels and quotes and knowing what your peers are upto and telling them what you are upto – this kind of grind I have managed to bring to a close. Hopefully things stay this way in future.
This was in Google newsfeed today: Peak and end roles in Love. Its not just about love, its about friendships and other relationships as well. Even if we touch a peak in our ties, making memories, how they may end can make us revaluate the entire relationships averaging it all from day one to the close. It makes so much sense again because we do try to brush under carpet the good times when things go awry and want to retain the aftertaste of something gone sour even if it may hurt our senses. We cling to the bitterness, not wanting to be left with a sweet hangover. Somehow the end becomes the defining character of the whole bonding and the times we shared.
These two takes on relationships can make us reassess our own perspectives. Only when our cup is full from receiving in reciprocation, we can ever try to fill others’ cups. When ours is depleting fast from pouring out constantly to others, disappointment and resentment will settle in our heart.
Love and affection and care and mutual trust and basic loyalty and gratitude – these should be returned in equal measures. Respect and consideration must be strongly and willingly reciprocated . Inclusion is the first criterian. Don’t make someone important in your life when you are not in their list of priorities. Pour on to others just what their cup may be capable of holding and not a drop more. Save your mood, time and energy. Cut negativity in real life and practise positivity in reality.
vijiravindran's 