Category: Drops Of Life

Posted in Drops Of Life

One minute @shahrukhkhan @srk

Posted on by veeskitchen

Hello Shah Rukh Khan, yes the Bollywood superhero. One minute.

Before I come to the matter, I have this to say. I have watched some interviews/speeches of yours over years where you have spoken about losing your parents at a younger age. In one very recently you spoke about your maternal grandfather which is rare. Mostly you make mention of your paternal grandfather only. So I was surprised to learn that he worked in Mangalore for a brief time as an engineer. Let me make one more thing clear: I am not celebrity obsessed. I don’t follow any of them. I don’t cling to their words or actions. Since you flood social media, sometimes we are forced to look up the catchy phrases.

During my recent visit to Mangalore I had the lucky chance of discussing your maternal grandfather with my friend’s mom who is a septuagenarian. This retired lady teacher knew your grandfather personally. May be you have heard about him from someone earlier. But when we accidentally hit upon the subject, aunty spoke about one Shri Iftiqar Ahmed who was your maternal grandfather. She also spoke about your mother who was then a little girl. She knew them personally. Your grandfather then worked for NMPT, the New Mangalore Port Trust in a senior position. So he was also in the board of aunty’s school as chairman or whatever capacity. NMPT were the founders of KV, Suratkal. So their top men also doubled up as board president in KV. At that time, NMPT was owned by Mallya group. Now I am told they are Zuari’s. Aunty has fondest memories of your grandfather. She said he was a gem, GEM, a very very kind and decent soul – WHICH IS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE TODAY. She says you are a good man, she believes you are a good human because of your grandfather. She has such an affection and respect for your family. They were originally from Delhi she said, but were on transfer in Mangalore.

Would you like to talk to aunty in person? I told aunty I would tweet you but I have had two or three twitter accounts all deleted. Plus I cannot explain myself to you in that very brief medium. Moreover my privacy matters. Here I don’t have much visitors even if I blog in public. Still I am sure, if this must reach you InshaAllah, it shall. Who knows, you may want to talk to aunty after all! I told aunty there are three possibilities: i) you may never come across this message. (ii) you may read me but ignore me or assume I am making it up (iii) you may want to get in touch with aunty. I don’t have to be in the picture. I know you have resources to locate aunty and directly reach her if you want to. Its entirely upto you. I can’t share my phone number or email. I can’t even verify you. I also don’t want to take credit. Neither are these necessary. Aunty said, if at all you may reach out to her, she could talk to you over phone or you could visit her. She wouldn’t want publicity or have her photos splashed in media. They are very quiet and decent middle class people, living a peaceful retired life. They don’t want any attention to themselves. Yet, because aunty holds so much respect and admiration and love and affection for your grandfather, she would definitely talk to you if you get in touch.

Omg I don;t even know whether you will come across this post. Anyway, my job is over now. You will have to figure out how to go about this. Or you can read this and forget it. Its okay. Perfectly understandable given your busy schedule and star status. Everyone vies for your time. You have your priorities. Aunty said if you ever visit her, what would I do. I said, I could fly to Mangalore from Chennai too – to see HER not you!

These are authentic, genuine, warm people. I am sure you can verify them. Aunty is not keeping good health so she cannot travel. Uncle is also aged. If you ever get to talk to aunty, it shall make me happy. Make us happy. If you don’t, we lose nothing. Thank you.

Posted in Drops Of Life

Gold Standard.

Posted on by veeskitchen

My simple dad worked for the central government undertaking that imported gold and silver bars via Madras harbour. He was in charge of the delivery and accounting of precious metals. While it was understood that most before him misused their position, my father had the cleanest hands. Never touched a single coin or bar that was government property. In fact his colleagues would lament how he was blocking others from enjoying life. Remember this was not the computer era. Statements were typed out and erasex was used for typos. Gold bars were easy to be substituted with copper or other metal bars. Committing a fraud was easy and would have gone undetected. And over it all if you refused to ‘cooperate’ there were vested interests who even threatened of implicating the honest staff in false cases or eliminating them from the scene once for all. Only my father’s soft nature saved him from life threatening situations. Even the worst masterminds paused looking at this gentleman who led a puritanical life not wanting to harm him. My father who never remarried after my mother, my father who owned not more than two or three sets of clothes at a time, my father who lived as a vegetarian, a teetotaler, my father who never raised his voice or argued or picked up a spat with anyone all his life – he was one of those from last gen who we would never get to see again. Was he a fool, I wonder because, all around now I see such a corruption everywhere. Did he not figure out how to live happy. How to live a luxurious life. How to have good time. What stopped him in his 40s from marrying again. What stopped him from smoking or boozing or even going to a picture. Why did he always go only to the temple and the market. Why he never left home once after evening 6 or 7. Why did he never take a day off for a vacation. Why did he not own a car or phone that he could have afforded. Why did he sleep on a mat on the floor when he could have had on a comfortable bed. Why did he even not eat in good restaurants. My father who took the same bus route 3A from Mylapore for years to go to work at the same place indeed did not know how to live life. Which is why his life was brutally cut short who knows. I wish I knew my father better, I had spoken more to him, I had given him the confidence and I had told him that I WAS THERE for him always. Sometimes we don’t have parents telling us how to live. They show us by their example as my parents did. My parents had a very short life on this planet. It is in their absence that they raised us mostly. I owe being what I am to my poor parents who were so straight and clean and simple and honest and godfearing. My belief system is like that of my parents. My values are like that of my parents. It is enough I know if I am half good as them. That’s what matters to me really. Long after they are gone, they are remembered for the good people they were. I am someone who benefited from the m m t c scholarships during my school days. My school fees ranged from as little as thirty three rupees in my class 6 to one hundred and fifty rupees in standard 12 in the year 1986. My father’s office gave a cheque in my name for six hundred rupees every year until 1984 which was my high school year when I gave my standard 10 exams. For my higher secondary I received nine hundred rupees. Education was subsidized and/or scholarships given to children of working staff by my father’s profit making organization. Those cheques went into bank account in my name. This was valuable money in those days. My sister too received hers. This central govt undertaking was a good place to work. Hours after my mother passed away, they sent a cheque for her last rites. Health cover. Good yearly bonuses, great canteen (been there many times), airy workplace and generally a healthy place to work in. I have blogged a lot on my mom but I do owe a lot to my father too. He took a housing loan from his office to build our home that is on lease today. How many lives can employers touch. Finally with my father, i still don’t have a closure and it hurts. I was n’t even aware that such a word called ‘depression’ existed in my teens. I hope I can be forgiven for my ignorance. Otherwise my father would have lingered for a lot more years who knows.

Posted in Drops Of Life

Fragrance Of Memories.

Posted on by veeskitchen

I have decided to add my personal stories in a section here. Most of them are like miracles. Whatever could be grand coincidence I have decided to share here.

Today such a thing happened.

I was buying flowers from a street vendor in Mylapore. I got the three greatest and sweet smelling flowers for my Puja (friday Diya puja) Marugozhundhu, Manoranjitham and Shenbhagam that form the base for many perfumes. Today the woman who sold the flowers said she knew me. I was surprised. She asked me whether I lived in Adam street, Mylapore. I said I could be familiar because I frequented Mylapore my birth place and mother’s home. Of course I grew up in Mylapore.

Then the woman conclusively told me, ‘your paalkaara aayaah was my aayaah. for years she worked for your family. you were young. i used to come to your house with her. you are two sisters. you lost your mother early.’ The woman also called me by name and mentioned our family name – how we are referred to in our community. I was stunned. Then the face slowly became familiar to me. Not familiar actually. I could make a quaint or faint connection that’s all. I remembered the very old lady who fetched milk for us every morning. She had a hunched back. I was too young but her daughter Sokkamma with a polio leg was our housemaid before Kanniamma joined us. Sokkamma was the flower woman’s aunt. I went to Sokkamma’s marriage also somewhere near Tambaram with my parents. My parents got two of our housemaids married. The flower woman said her name was Mahalakshmi. She told me my grandma gave Sokkamma a gold chain for her marriage. Sokkamma’s husband was an alcoholic. She died soon leaving behind a daughter. That daughter Thilaka is now married and well settled. My mother and my grandma used to feel bad for her fate. They were only our house servants but my family deeply cared for them. Mahalakshmi said, that gold chain was with their family for a long time and it helped Sokkamma’s daughter when getting married. I was stunned by the flower seller’s memory. I was also moved to hear about my mother’s and my grandmother’s kind gesture. After Sokkamma, a girl called Kanniamma worked for us. My mother got her married too. In fact she named her daughter, the eldest born, after my mother.

My mother taught hearing and speech impaired middle school girls until the last day of her life. She had a kind of empathy for the lesser fortunate which was unheard of in those days. She was neutral and unbiased. She was far ahead of her times in many ways.

Today is my mother’s 40th death anniversary as per English calendar. I recall this only now and somehow forgot to get it when I was with the flower woman. My mother reaches to me directly. Nobody will believe if I say this. My Mother Goddess reaches to me in a way too that I cannot describe.

Now the time is 11 pm. My mother passed away around 10.30 on July 14, 1982. I observed the thidhi as per Hindu/Thamizh calendar. My sister observed it as per English date today.

Why should of all the days, months and years, I have to meet someone from my past who recalled my mother and grandmother today of all days. Exact day. I have been buying flowers in Mylapore for years and years. Not once have I met this woman before. Never have our paths crossed in 45 plus years. Mahalakshmi said she is 59. Look at her flowers. Her recalling of my name is unbelievable.

An Ambal upasakar told me that my mother did not have rebirth. Today’s incidence is surprisingly having a calming effect on me. Nowadays vibes are getting replaced with a peace in my case. For years I have received strong vibes in waves. Of late as I get older, I have an understanding in my heart that’s all.

This is the second time in a matter of three months, my mother has reached out to me. I don’t even know her really. I am learning more of her through third parties.

My mother was a flower girl who filled our terrace with potted plants such as roses, jasmine, hibiscus. december, kanakambaram, saamandhi etc., that we had no space to walk. Very interested in gardening, she would frequent the Horticulture society that was in Gemini, where she would board her bus back from school. We also bought so much of flowers everyday from street vendors. Roses especially. In the house that my parents built (which is perpetually leased out), my mother planted seven Ceylon (red) coconut trees, mango tree, curry leaf tree etc., and roses and hibiscuses.

My mother helped at least two poorest girls get married when they had nothing. In return Karma saw to that we two daughters married well in her absence.

Years after someone is gone, this is what stays behind. Our good Karma. Thank you so much for reaching out to me Amma. You just told me you are there always for us.