I flip through the album of happy faces in the Alps and the Eurostar, at the Eiffel tower and at the Vatican. Big big smiles there! I browse the freezes of Bharatnatyam mudras of beautiful dancers. I am horrified by the tiktok videos which at the same time entertain me. I cannot bear to hear out one full smule song posted online by a friend. I unfollowed another one for too many personal posts packed with embarrassing private info that i thought i could do without. There is this yatri who alerts everyone every time he sets his foot inside some temple precincts. There are friends who post before boarding a flight, on landing at the destination, checking into this hotel or that resort, walking, running, gymming, yogaing, shopping…. all with an ear to ear grin whose happiness is always infectious…
So is social media really that bad, i ask myself. I am seeing beaming faces everywhere. I am seeing friends in parks, beaches, singing, dancing, playing, tattooing (!), even praying. The kids are out of the world! The clubs are regaling. The wildlife is well cared for, at least online. The recipes are interesting. The causes are heeded to and helped. There is awareness on current happenings. There are playful rebukes and rebuffs. There is satire and sarcasm and the memes are blasphemous! There also is this occasional dampener – one or two, by way of sharing-posting negativity and hatred, but that which we can consign to the dustbin of our mind…. so otherwise? … otherwise i find the social media guys oozing with josh and party perfect! We may sometimes need this energy tonic to lift up our sagging spirit…
If someone is in social media sharing his/her enthusiasm and happiness for the world to see, i think they have nothing to hide. Contrary to popular belief that some seek social media approval, nowadays i believe, if someone is photobombing facebook, instagram etc., with their exciting escapades, then in all probability things are working out for them nicely, that they are genuinely happy. Not to assume that those who do not advertise are not doing great. But in the first case, in all probability, the guys have a reason to celebrate and they don’t shy sharing a slice of their happy life with everyone.
Rather than being irritated by them like in the past, nowadays i am looking at them with new eyes. Earlier they appeared narcissists to me. Now they appear happy, contented people to me having a blast on their birthdays, wedding days, any holiday for that matter.
After making this observation i was thinking of those who shy away from sharing with buddies their familial happiness or even the good moments they savour with friends. Somehow now they don’t strike me as those with a heightened sense of privacy. May be sometimes you don’t want others to see you? You don’t want to go on record? You don’t have anything happy and worthwhile to share? As i said, those with low profile need not necessarily be having a listless life. Yet, there is a good possibility that their lives may not be as interesting or as happy.
This i believe is true of those who never share family photos or vacation pictures or party clicks. You don’t have to consistently post, but there must be something to celebrate about. What makes someone completely hide their front. I don’t know this is now my social media psychology report.
The more seen one is, the more loud one is in social media, yes in all probability they are having a whale of a good time! These social media stars make no bones about wearing their happiness on their sleeves for the whole world to see. For the first time in my life, I am respecting them for diffusing positivity and cheer in the air thick with envy and hatred.
I think i have outgrown the Agama temples, a natural corollary of Varnaashrama.
The reckoning moment came when 24 OBC Archakas and a woman Odhuvar were inducted into the service of Hindu temple devastanams by the ruling state government in Tamil Nadu this independence day, 15th of August. The move acceptedly brash, was met not suprisingly with stiff resistance. This has given rise to endless debates on social media as a backlash pitting friends against friends. The sore point is when you learn, your friends will remain your friends as long as you tow their line. Friends and even childhood friends remain lifelong friends when we remain confined within undrawn lines. One step any of us must take forward, then all hell can break loose. What an uneasy truce we have in Hindu society. How unreal this all is.
This has sparked many questions in my mind in last couple of days. Not that this may not have crossed any activist’s or freethinker’s mind. I have been an avid temple goer all my life and the massive and impressive Dravidian architecture south Indian hindu temples are my life’s mission. Heart’s favourite. I have visited/toured dozens and dozens in last five decades of my life and i have a list made up for future programs. Even so, something deep down nagged me. As someone who listens to my instinct always, I decided to record my reaction here in my blog post of how i felt about my friends responses and the media reactions in the matter.
Because there is not even entertainment of the idea of a conversation here. The topic is not open for debate or discussion. Chapter closed. Dead end. This is precisely what is the frustrating stumbling block when it comes to creating an equivalent and inclusive Hindu society. The brazen stubbornness of the Agama structure beyond criticism in this 21st century is one of the grandest failures of humanity and the so-called chest thumping democracy we purportedly have in India. As expected, the national mass media like our tv new channels in english language gave the Temple reform a deliberate miss. This one single point to me proved the historic significance of the move and assured me that we the Tamils were on right track. The south has always been a trendsetter.
I am kind of touched by the timing factor here. Today is Tiruvonam. Onam is observed in Kerala in remembrance of Mahabali, the Dravidian king and our forefather. The festivities keep alive the belief that Mahabali will return to claim his reign which is south India. Believe me this is just a coincidence.
The discussions on Agama temples raised the following questions in me:
Are the Agama temples the first and foremost bastions of caste prejudice from where springs an air of superiority about some at the top of the pyramind of the Hindu race. Do Agama temples thus sanction discrimination right from their sanctums? Yes, they do.
Once you disallow someone, discredit someone from something they are eligible to legally, it is the Agama model that can be held illegal. Yes, it is illegal to stop anyone from learning Vedas or working in Agama temples. Or do we have written laws to prove the contrary?
The Agama temple doors were thrown open to the Panchamas only in 1947 with legal intervention. Which means, without legal help Hindus will not act on own accord. To remove injustice, the hand of law in Hindu temples is a must. This is why Hindu temples are under government administration. To provide justice to all Hindus, Hindu temples need government control. Which does not mean that the revenues earned by the Hindu temples may be spent on non Hindus. This is a separate topic for discussion. I will just stop with noting down that the Hindu funds may be used for the welfare and betterment of Hindu population alone.
When the Agama temples put some on the top of the table, they naturally relegated others down the pyramid and some at the grounds level. The lowest could be the cremation or burial ground workers and manual scavengers with no hope to climb up the social ladder, stigmatized for generations.
Can you even imagine the all Indian scenario of cremation and burial ground workers refusing to burn the bodies of FCs. I wish they strike work someday soon all at the same time. Let our governments appoint cremation grounds workers from all communities in future. Let every caste cremate their own including the brahmins and the banias. This single step can ensure dignity of labour and bring about a changed mindset in Hindu society.
What happens when we venerate the Agama kind of worship and propagate it on a grander, national level with the approval and stamp of the regime. Self-aggrandizement of the creamiest becomes the natural output and stamping on the downtrodden becomes routine. We have the vicious circle where there is no escape from some dingy quarters deep down the social ladder.
The Agama temple worship of Hindu dharma is deeply entrenched all across India, in every single state of ours and union territory, that you cannot even dream of uprooting this structure for creating a just and equitable society.
The Agama worship is easily understood by the masses, accepted by the masses. Its reach is phenomenal. Its appeal is unbelievable.
The Agama breeds a subculture within its precincts that includes music and dance and art forms. Together An Agama temple is like a museum of artefacts, fascinating and inviting and enthralling at the same time. It is a unique experience only a practising Hindu can identify with. No wonder, even the obcs and the panchamas play down the flipside of the Agama worship smitten by the lure of the Agama.
The Agama subculture may span the vedic rites performed at homes, at festivities, at even funerals making the pundits and purohits inevitable parts of a hindu life whose services cannot be dispensed with
In short, the Agama takes care of the highest in the hierarchy within its own structure. There is no place for outsiders here.
The Agama network is really impressive, massive, nurtured over centuries. It is now a psychological phenomenon. Not even obcs and panchamas dare to touch it neither would any dravidian state government for that matter. It is colossal like the gigantic banyan tree. If it is be down, it can bring down the nation with it which can be of some concern.
If the Agamic Varnaashramaa structure is to be shaken, it is therefore possible that the entire structure of Sanatana Dharma may come loose. This will be clearly the next level in Hindu evolution. Another plane totally. However this is an acid test that Hindus WILL have to take someday or other. If not today, then tomorrow. But such a day will definitely dawn in Indian history when self-questioning will begin. Yes, we can only postpose this date cannot avoid it. But by then, it may be too late to make amends. I expect a good majority of India to have converted by such a time. It kind of makes me sad. But it is not that those higher up the ladder do not foresee this condition at a later date. I would think that the current regime could be leaving it to the future generation to work out a plausible solution.
The Agama temples were probably built after Shankaracharya’s time the 7th century CE. It is after his times that castes came to be more pronounced in India with clear demarcating lines. All the more a reason to shun the Shankara mutts.
A quiet and efficient hierarchy of things was established and the Agama network is astounding. Even the question of dismantling such a structure can portray one as anti-Hindu even if it meant anti-caste aspirations.
Blatant crass commercialization of Agama temples is there for all to see.
Not even Gandhi and EVR touched or questioned the Agama. Their first target was inclusivity at basic level.
With Agama temples, Hinduism got reduced to Abhisegams and Alankarams of dieties decorated with precious gold and diamond jewelry. Pilgrimage became a corner stone. Gone was the Inner Shanthi, aspiration for Inner Peace or Self-REalization. Bhakthi came to mean noise and pompous shows.
Agama temples are thus extremely ritualistic and so are Hindu lives. Steeped in ritualism, with spirituality and purpose disappearing from the scene. Now Hindu spirituality has become that very synonymous with rituality that we cannot think Hindu without the ritualistic paraphernalia.
Passive aggression is the worst kind of violence because it damages someone psychologically and feeds, gloats like parasite on their self-esteem. This is the typical characteristic of Agama Vidhi.
Is there a way we can get out of the mess created by the Agamic-Varnaashramaa system. Yes. Kudos to the Tamil Nadu state government for even giving a thought in this direction. This is not exactly moving out of Agama but the current move can be the next best thing we can think of. The great equalizer. This is how history is scripted. Galileo did not get guillotined for nothing. He went against the top brass. He antagonized friends. He rebelled. He risked death. Yet he spoke the truth as he knew it. As it was. Time proved him right.
I am myself a deeply ritualistic, religious person, so you can imagine how much it can hurt me to write this down. In fact i am feeling extremely depressed and disturbed by the developments. I don’t approve of usurping of temple administrations by force. But what knifed my heart was that my friends felt and believed and averred that some are born with silver spoon and by virtue of birth belonged in the sanctum sanctorum whereas others did not measure up. I don’t have to take this personal, i can remain neutral, but i don’t want to. At least i want to put in on record that India will be doomed with this kind of mentality. This is sick! Sickening! On basis of birth one claiming superiority and brushing down brutally others under the carpet – this callousness is shocking! I don’t think at this rate Hinduism will progress or survive. And if we don’t, we don’t have anyone to lay blame on. The mental sickness, the hypocrisy of the caste Hindus will do the HIndu dharma in. We don’t need the Abrahamics.
Today if we voice our honest opinion on religion, we are viewed as anti-national, anti-Hindu. Tamil Nadu and Kerala are two of the bravest states of India. They may be corrupt but one can even survive corruption but not hypocrisy which is the deadliest cancer. It gives me utmost satisfaction to note that the two states have not budged an inch. Not in next 1000 years will they ELECT HONESTLY a BJP government. And I underscore the honest word. All my life i voted for these guys. Yet the defiance of my state always makes me proud. I am proud of my ex chief minister Jayalalitha Jayaram who refused to oblige anyone on their terms and laid down her life holding her head high.
I cannot change my own friends, i accept defeat. I cannot change my nation. But I can scale down my pre-occupation with Agamic temples. I will start doing that right away. And I will try to convince fellow hindus on one to one basis to STOP going to Agama temples and focus on meditation. I will discourage other hindus to stop following acharyas and mutts and fake sadhgurus. This i can do in my individual capacity. My religious perspective is changing right now. It will be a long drawn process i know. Much more difficult for me because I have viewed myself deeply spiritual and at the same time ritualistic. I guess it is my Mother Goddess who even planted this seed of thought in my mind. I guess at best i will be HER instrument. Ever since the idea germinated, I have a feeling that i am getting propelled on to next stage of spirituality. I never had the urge until now. I though do want to take it slow.
High time Hindu Dharma evolves. Our Dravidian architecture granite temples are an engineering marvel. Ancient and historic. But i wish we leave them at that. Hopefully we hindus evolve. I wonder why some factions are not letting us do that. Why are the flocks not allowed to graze further down the spiritual path? Simple. It means, there is the risk of the power equations changing. Everyone becomes one and the same. None can have the hegemony of remaining insulated and self-righteous. You cannot bend and break the back of fellow humans like the crematorium worker or manual scavenger like you have been doing for over a thousand year.
Phasing out Agama. Will i be able to do it? Only time can tell. I will remain a devout Hindu with or without Agama Vidhi. Seeing the God within you is not as easy. It shall take time. Nevertheless I will go for it with all my heart.
The beauty about Sanathana Dharma is that you can be an Agama follower or a non-ritualistic, a Shaivite or a Vaishnavite, a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian, you can follow any of the six schools of worship, or you can even be an atheist. You can attain Nirvana by any means. The ritualistic Agama worship is the most layman form of worship although it is very popular. It can be our kinder garten at best, but most of us refuse to progress from here.
I think this is watershed moment for those like me to come to a decision. It will be very difficult to forsake the Agama temples but i am contemplating completely giving up Agama temples for the bastion of caste prejudice they have come to symbolize. They are filled with so much hatred and bias where the torch bearers are unwilling to help others grow spiritually . They seem to have reduced everything to Abhishekam and Alankaram. Decorating deities with gold and diamonds is what is their level of piety or religiosity. We are aware of Kshama Prarthana for the rituals still skipped. Everything is convenient to correct, should those in charge make a mistake. The kind of hypocrisy i am witnessing in our temples and the spewing of so much of venom belittling others is horrible. I am not saying the usurping of temple admin is right either. There is a gentle way of introducing the new appointees where those in service of god can receive them with understanding, willing to teach them and grow with them. The initial state of denial and shock are unavoidable. We must be giving them time to settle down. Neither should the serving ones be financially deprived with their services cut short. For all this to happen, a society must be very mature and literate. However, this is not the case.
I would like that every non-brahmin gives up Agama worship totally and seeks meditation and other means of Dharma to attain Mukthi. Even the new OBC archakas can withdraw and leave the hollow granite structures to the heartless cruel people who can go to hell. My heart goes out to the poorest of poor called names, insulted by their caste card. I would ask every vettiyan to refuse to burn an FC body. That is how bad i feel. It looks like forever, these lower caste people must be confined to their fates, denied an equal social status.
I would definitely try to withdraw from my temple routine. I would though go to the non Agamic temples that are not bound by prejudiced practices.
It won’t be easy not stepping into Kapali temple or Valleeshwara temple. Both were originally maintained for decades by my community. Now i am ashamed that we even exercised such a privilege. But i will try to personally stay away from Agama temples as much as possible. I would stress upon every single OBC community to withdraw their support and allegiance with Agama temples. Just grow out, wean yourself okay? Move on to the next level. Climb to the next step in your spiritual ladder.
My Devi, My Goddess resides within me. I don’t have to seek Her outside anywhere. A temple is only after your Puja at home. On that I am clear. I have made some promises to visit some shrines with family in future. I shall have to keep up those promises. But for that, i will be slowly easing out of the Agama ritualistic temples. May be enlightenment will follow this way who knows.
I shall press every single OBC who i come across and who i can influence to give up Agama temples and concentrate on meditation and Puja at home or in non-Agama temples. No more this can be our collective responsibility either. If after serving in the sanctum for centuries these people still cannot understand God’s will or can’t embrace the masses and take them into their bosoms and show them the God, it is not worth it.
Hinduism is such a vast ocean. There are offensive scriptures still that we can give up. There are unfair practices that we need not have to heed to. Let us follow what we are comfortable with. The more ritualistic we become, the more distant we move away from self-realization. It is one thing to usurp the temple admin, but it another thing not to share knowledge but lead an otherwise materialistic adharmic life in every other way.
Dear Hindus, it is time to forsake the Agama temples. Just grow up. Shiva and Shakthi and Lord Balaji and Rama and Hanuman live in your hearts first. You don’t need these vedics or the purohits and pundits. But forever they will need you especially even after their death. Let them always stay indebted to you. I change my mind. Forsake the Agama, but burn their bodies. Sweep clean their ugliness. May you always be one step above them in every aspect – by virtue of birth. Your ways and means may be crude, but your end aspiration is merited. God be with you!
I have a devoted househelp at my service for over 15 years now. She has a rural background. When she came to work for me, the first day on taking the broom in her hands she said, ‘Akka please don’t allot separate plate and tumbler for me! Otherwise i don’t want to work for you!’ I wasn’t planning to do that. Those words rooted me to my spot. I felt ashamed of myself to be instilling such a fear on this village girl. She is like my younger sister ever since. After sometime she noticed that I was using the same coffee mug, my son used his etc., and that we did not mix towels or soaps or any personal thing even within the family. It is after a month she told me to give her her own glass and plate because in my family, everyone had our own plate, glass that we wouldn’t interchange. Even pillows and blankets. Still i did not tell my girl firsthand what was our house practice. I let the girl find out. In my case, there was never a discrimination. One thing my help keeps telling me is, after coming to me all those years back she for the first time was shocked by receiving equal, humane treatment. Nobody gave her that respect that was due to her all these years. My help has access to all my house, all my things and my trust in her is one hundred percent. That very trust of mine in her endeared me to her. When I am down, it is she who cooks for me. One day I surprised my friends with her cooking – yes, my orthodox school friends. They couldn’t believe she was such a fine cook. They were at loss of words. Respect also means that we share our food with our househelp when it is still piping hot and can be savoured heartfully – not as leftover always. This is what I do. If i make something special or even my daily food, I first share with my help. I give her her share as she finishes my morning chore. That simple gesture would touch her immensely. When my husband would be around, she would say, ‘akka, let anna eat around first. let me take my share in the evening.’ Even my help’s friend is like my sister. Whenever my girl takes leave, this girl comes to run some errands for me and do the chores. First time the girl came to my house, she had a similar plea for me: ‘akka please don’t differentiate and allot me a lota separately. i feel very hurt.’ These words still reverberate in my ears. The second girl worked for someone else. She would tell me how her employer would not allow her to move freely giving her only the leftovers and old clothes. The girls like me for the only reason that I treat them as fellow human beings, nothing special. I got both the girls silk saris for a family function this year. They had tears in their eyes when I asked them to pick that had never happened to them before. That i got them very same saris like for my friends was what touched them most. For my part, i never did anything extraordinary. I realized just treating someone human can also move them so much…
My friends and even my family say I lavish on the girls which is untrue. The truth is that I treat them as an equal. Treat them like they are my friends and own sisters. This is what has won me their loyalty and love and affection. Today the son of my regular househelp has graduated and daughter is on the verge of graduating. First time LITERATES by the way in their entire joint family. I won’t deny i have played a role in pushing them to this purpose and asking them to improve their living standards in every way. I can help only those closest to me, being a woman in this society with limited connections. Even if i improve the lives of 2-3 girls in this lifetime of mine, i count it as a blessing.
I am asking this society only one question: if someone should beg us not to give them separate glasses and plates, what kind of monsters are we supposed to be. How much more can we stamp on others’ dignity and self-respect. How much have we psychologically damaged them, destroyed them. How have we broken their hearts to a thousand pieces. We are worse than the Taliban really. They kill physically. We wound fellow humans emotionally dashing and killing their hopes. This passive aggression is what I view as most heinous because it goes unnoticed. It is not viewed as an act of violence at all. The hypocrisy thrives, flourishes dividing societies.
How did the discrepancies creep up in the first place and get entrenched so deeply in our midst. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that traditionally (meaning for many centuries) some occupying the seats of honour while others slugging it out at the bottom has been the way the society functioned. The vast majority of population probably remained complacent or their protests were quietened in no time. The status quo prevailed until realization set in. It means a reshuffle is the way forward.
I think it is time we plug all loopholes that may lead to tear from our social fabric. There just cannot be any justification on the basis of birth for this senseless discrimination we still practice in our homes.
At the same time, the girls’ determination also revealed to me, how they will not allow themselves to be treated in future. Which ideology did influence them? Both cannot read a letter. It is useless blaming political leadership when the awareness is happening. Kudos to the girls for their sense of dignity and respect. In my case, they needn’t have feared. But it is a lesson for all of us: if we deny respect and equal space for anyone from any sphere, then they will be obliged to claim it from us forcefully. In Tamil Nadu temple case, this is what is happening today.
I see so much of venom spewed ever since the OBC archakas tookover their assigned jobs in Agama temples. Remember, these too graduated from Vedic schools and are not without a background. I can imagine how worse it could have been for EVR all those years back and for Gandhiji to break the caste barricades and bring Hindus together as never before in over a two thousand year written history of India. Only solace is that, the media was absent then, especially social media. Crass characters like Subrahmanyam Swamy today are discussing the Tamil Nadu situation whereas he is yet to explain to the public here his role in Jayalalitha’s case and demise. If he had had any strength of character, no central govt would have rejected him. It doesn’t matter if you are Harvard returned, when you are found to be unreliable like this other one Shashi Tharoor, you will not find a good position anywhere because you are just that: not trustworthy and characterless.
I am not sure how much of physical violence was used to manhandle archakas in employment in which case it is totally wrong. But the archakas also can embrace the new appointees with more broadmind as their apprentices and train them in their order. What Ramanuja did centuries back, why should it be impossible to do in the 21st century.
What is bhakthi without an element of empathy. It is those in the service of God who must have more compassion and understanding. It n’t it strange that those who want to get into service of god are called the adharmic and those who are going adharmic are claiming to be dharmic.
Which shastra sampradhaya and dharmika have the caste hindus already not violated? At the cost of repeating myself I would like to record here that. the day a hindu (read brahmin) woman decided to wear double mangalsutra from two men and carry the child in her womb fathered by an unknown donor and the day a brahmana decided to take the work of a kasappukadaikaran butchering meat and going further on sampling liquor for making a living, the dharmic equations got altered. Ilai marai kaai maraivaa nadandhuthaan ellam. But when legal sanction was accorded to these transgressions redefining a pre-existant dharma, nobody can have the moral or ethical right any more to bar anyone from anywhere quoting scriptures or traditions. The truth is, not many non-brahmins can bring themselves to cross these undrawn limiting lines as easily as these folks do. I am not asking anyone not to remarry or have a child from anyone they please. And i have nothing to do with their eating habits. In fact i am for reforms that can make life better for our women. It is only when some parties flout what suits them and want others to abide by the unwritten code, there is a problem.
Whether we want it or not, at some point in history, this is going to happen. This holding back of knowledge, art is deeply disturbing and can be damaging to even our economy. I have noted that as expected, none of the national news channels covered the pathbreaking historical move made by Tamil Nadu govt in the matter.
To bring about awareness, our govt can consider this:
The brahmin population of the state is stated to be around 2%. I am not sure about Mudaliar or Nadar or Chetty or Pillai or Nair or Naidu or Jain population. On pro-rata basis, every caste must be allotted their graveyard shift in the various crematoria spread across the state, manual or mechanized. These groups can be given the rights to assemble their own team from their own caste members. The 2% brahmin population may still have to work for about 7 days out of the yearly 365 at the crematoria burning bodies. A similar shift can be considered for the scavenging work. Road kuppaya allanum, koottanum. I am not singling out one community. Let everyone share the duty as per their percentage population in the national census. And I am including even the christians and muslims in this list of scavenging job. I am leaving them out of the crematoria work quota because they have their own where things are not done on caste basis.
This can be an eye opener to the self certified puritanical groups and help them realize whose sweat and blood and dignity their ancestors sucked to put them above the rest of the lot. First of all, the much waned dignity of labour will be restored to full vigor in Indian society.
Reservation is for this purpose: when you cannot find a housemaid or street hawker or a crematorium worker or a sweeper in your community or relative circle, it means you are socially emancipated even if not materially very rich. In which case, you are expected to pull others out of their deprived situation with helping hands. This is what humanity is all about.
When did the castes/varnas come into vogue. They find no mention in the Vedas. They are the later additions. Shastra and Sampradayas to my knowledge can be dismantled or suspended or rewritten or altered.
What is this Agama vidhi, May be this is something that makes stops you from climbing out of the ritualistic quagmire? I remember the men in my family frowning against the Devasham rituals running for days. They would say, the said group divided themselves into two. One went to temples and took over the powerful societal position of serving the gods. Those who could not fit into temples that were not big employers, invented purohit work to keep themselves busy and earn a living! Personally I believe, it is more important to respect and treat a human with kindness when he or she is around. I do not believe in endless rituals year after year after the concerned person is gone. Once you leave agama schools, you find that there is no need to stick to caste-prescribed boundaries. You realize the entire set up has been put into place to maintain the same hierarchy for centuries. This i am not saying to disrespect anyone. But i have always awowed how cleverly some communities took care of themselves and kept themselves out of the harms way with ingeniously designed self-preservation techniques. No need to fight the kings battles. No need to sweat under a sweltering sun. Finest settlements in the agrahara with water wells. Safe life while the others slogged it out.
Many have been telling me to slowly come out of the ritualistic worship. May be I am now ready to go to the next step. I am already feeling a strong desire never to tow this line again. Rituals do help me focus better. I am able to give a shape to my spiritual goals. But many hindus are already leaving behind the ritualistic religion and taking a step forward. May be this is the way we can bring to an end the caste hypocrisy when whatever these guys say won’t matter to us.
We are having Tamizh weddings in our families already for past many years where we have dispensed with services of purohits. Instead we recite Tamil mantras. I have for friends who have had ‘seerthirutha tamizh kalyanams.’ Their children are now like trophies, not in anyway wanting.
Passive aggression is one of the most cruel forms of violence because it allows you to belittle fellow humans as if they are sub-humans while placing yourselves in a far better and superior position only by virtue of birth. This is most abominable mind-set. Knowledge to me is for sharing. Inclusive growth is important for national development. Caste is one reason India is backward. Caste is also the main reason for conversion post 1947 (and even prior to 1947).
I used to be sick of the curd rice stories. Then I turned against my friends and asked them, still why did the curd rice prevent them from becoming geniuses like the jews or japanese or even the koreans. What new inventions and discoveries in last 2000 years after Aryabhatta and Bhaskara. It is you who claim they were yours. In truth in Bharatha, whether scientist or mathematician or spiritual guru or even a nayanmar or alwar, anyone making a mark was absorbed by the brahminical fold after their lifetimes as theirs. Like we posthumously award Ashok chakra today to war heroes.
After the puritanical mind set in (I can peg this about the time of Shankaracharya) dividing the population on communal lines, you cannot observe any significant scientific temper in Hindu history. Once the hypocritical mind takes over, the genius vanishes. This is the truth.
Transported back to 1947 when a struggle of another kind was taking place in the south especially to usher in social reforms. I can imagine why EVR Periyar is so much villainified now. He did the unthinkable. 75 years later can we imagine otherwise?
The south has always been the trendsetter which is why we prosper better than the north. The north is steeped in casteist hypocrisy. You cannot have someone like Yogi boldly enact reforms as they are done in the south in another 1000 years. It needs courage and commitment to a cause.
Finally as a believer and a practising Hindu, I repeat, without Mother Goddess wanting it this way, this just cannot happen. Women may step into Lord Aiyappa’s abode in Sabarimala legally today because perhaps, Aiyappa thinks the time is ripe for that. Raam got his Ayodhya back, not you or me. If you are indeed a true Hindu, you will surrender without a question as I do. You will understand the scheme of things the way I do.
You think Shiva bothers whether you enter a temple after downing a peg of whiskey or in lungi. Or having your periods! Omg is this what you have reduced Dharma to. My kind of faith is entirely on another range. Man made decorum is fine. But upto a certain degree. Over that, all that matters is only the matter of the heart. With so much of bias at heart thinking lowly of others, I do not know how anyone can hope to get closer to ‘realization.’
Or guys be ready to flash your iyer or iyengar card at Kailasha or Vaikuntha when you get there. This is the kind of God you believe in.
Some Hindus are parasitic. They wouldn’t stop from feeding on those below them in ranks. This is why Dharma is dying.
Someone told me Gurus would teach only the worthy ones (meaning upper caste) and not the ‘crooked ones’ meaning others. That really got me thinking. I felt a pity for the one who said this.
Because in one of the stories we read for a Vratha, there is something for exactly those like these:
Someone who refuses to teach and someone who refuses to feed people at home are reborn as a fruitless mango tree and a ‘malattu’ (barren) cow that does not breed. The mango tree does not flower and yield a single nectarlike mango fruit to make anyone happy and the cow cannot be milked. Both attain despair in frustration that is unspeakable and live a life of uselessness in their next janam that shatters their heart. Karma is unique and different. If this story cannot pass on a message to anyone, what can. Well this is how Sanatana Dharma deals with the sin of holding back knowledge you ought to share with everyone. This gem always is my favourite even if it may be a myth.
Of course we don’t have to dive deep into the Dharmic ocean to find a solution to everything.
‘Annaparavaiyai pola’ – the mythical swan that could separate milk from water for consumption, that is how we must mold ourselves. We must imbibe what is best for us and discard what is junk.
All the scriptures and academic degrees cannot bring in realization to some which is sad. The hypocrisy of sticking to discrimination arguing in favour of social injustice is appalling. Much more disturbing is the tendency to underestimate others. This kind of mindset is already breeding mediocrity all around us. Some of us can take insults in our stride and move on. If we are going to talk back to every barking dog, we cannot reach our destination. Some of us have not come this far in life if we are to be perturbed by every single barb that is thrown at us.
Some of us have faced racial slurs at work, discriminations and favoritisms valiantly in life and survived. We have lived the toughest way not relying for support on softening cushions.
As for me, I have always lived life in hostile territory with no fallback option. I think that has made me strong, and into whatever confused mass that I am. At least I am clear on some basics.
Mostly I have observed that, in life, it is those who have never stepped out of their comfort zones who judge people. If you live as minority in an alien terrain even for a short while, you will know you don’t matter, and none of that you think important may actually be relevant. Nothing about you could make sense and you are but a tiny atom in this universe, so insignificant and unnoticeable.
I am now convinced of why and how India remains stagnant. Lacking empathy and neutrality and sense of justice can never bring in progress. You suppress potential talent pool. How do you know without even giving a chance for 2-3 generations to prosper, for those who are not even having their first time graduates in their families. Had the Americans thought so, an Obama would not have been there. That is the mark of a literate, mature, truly democratic society. Whereas in India, the privileged kids going to posh schools want to vie for reservations on par with Panchayat school kids who walk to taluk schools on bare foot for kilometers.
I am glad I do not come from a family that attaches itself to a cultivated Guru. I am happy for my freethinking ways. After reading Narayaneeyam and Lalitha Sahasranamam and having your kids work as chefs butchering and skinning sheep and cow and tasting liquor for serving in five star hotels, you still think that Maths must teach only the privileged by caste, then I have no sympathy for anti-conversion lobbies. Wherever dignity is promised, masses move over to there.
But the mango tree and cow story is on my mind now for over 24 hours. It is almost time for the Vratha. Unlike other girls I did not have my parents tell me what to read or how to treat people. I have my Devi guiding my every step. To Her face let the casteists have the honesty and courage to declare how Gurus will not teach the lesser privileged (by virtue of birth) in Hindu Dharma. And how everyone IS and MUST and HAVE TO BE different. And that only they are the best.
Or probably the seers are right. Which is why they have not come up with a successor for Kanchi Mutt until now.
Today in Sai Charitha was a chapter that tried to answer whether Sai Baba of Shirdi was Hindu or Muslim. It was simply not possible to determine what He was/is. I am not a guru centric Hindu but I reckon the great spirits born among us as Mahans. Sometimes I think they are the God we are failing to see who live in our own times. Yet I have my doubts at the same time. Whatever, I hold Shirdi Baba and Puttarbarthi Sai Baba in highest esteem because of their humanitarian services where and when they thought of all human beings as equals irrespective of their caste or religion or literacy level or socio-economic status. They were unlike any of the religious gurus such as the Shankaracharyas before them, in bringing humanity together with their selfless services. No Hindu seer until now for that matter, has been capable of such a simple organic initiative for uniting the Hindu community divided on the basis of castes that could have helped Hindu Dharma grow, with conversions going down as a consequence. Perhaps the reason is, Hindu seers are mostly ‘cultivated’ and do not get to become pontiffs without an ulterior motive, which in most cases is casteist. Whereas the Sai Babas are mahans who got their calling that turned them towards spirituality. They became the seekers. They were discovered by the masses. They didn’t need to get appointed in office or introduced. They did not need to be nurtured, fine-tuned. In front of Sai everyone is one and the same.
Reading about the Urs being observed on the day of Sri Rama Navami at Shirdi since the year 1912, moved me. I am no less critical of the so-called ‘peacefuls’ and I mince no words when it comes to calling a spade a space where it concerns their bloody violent ways. But co-existence is the only way out, this i am aware of, for the peace and stability of not just India but this entire world. Nobody was saviour from the start, and it is only centuries before that we had the war of the crusades. If Christianity is indeed so noble and service-oriented, then there would have been no slave trade or apartheid or ethnic cleansing of natives from Africa, Australia and Latin America. Just who are we kidding. What was Hitler and what did he do. To Who. Who bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Where did all Gods go then. Did we have the word ‘terrorism’ at all in the 1940s.
This is why I believe, every religious fold will come around and mature at its own time. The oldest have turned around. We have to give time for the newest to make it at their own convenience. But one day it will happen.
Baba attained Samadhi long before the partition of the nation. I wonder what He would have had to say had He been around until then. Given that He was for holding Urs alongside Sri Ram Navami celebrations, we have to still admit that Baba was non-political. As the chapter detailed, priestly brahmins and agnihotris were His followers who practically resided with Him in the dargah or very closest to Him, even as muslims too sought Him. No human being can turn away from a good soul and at that point of time when you come across a noble soul, you forget to see if He/She is Hindu or Muslim.
My brought-up is such that, inspite of my strong political opinion, I can’t help crossing myself whenever I pass via a church. I also pause for a few seconds if I sight a mosque in India. It doesn’t always have to be a Hindu temple. Even today during Puja i heard a prayer siren. For 30 sec., I observe this silence. Your heart grows still whether you are follower of the alien faith or not. You simply reckon the One Supreme whoever He/She may be wherever from. That is how I was raised. To show respect to all living beings and even inanimate objects. I don’t need reciprocation or approval. I shall continue to be me unconcerned about others’ respect or regard for me, favourable or unfavourable. My happiness, my peace I value more over others’ priorities.
I felt a calm reading this chapter in Thamizh really that spoke of ‘Shanthi’ or peace that is so elusive these days to humankind. Conflict has become our everyday business. We subsist/survive on negativity and pessimism and hatred. Just who are we to condemn or sentence anyone. Who gave us the right to judge others.
I wish the peace of Shirdi in the year 1912 prevails in India today and to eternity.
Why can’t world hope for such a peace and harmony at all times. Hindus and Muslims historically could never live together, yet could live together at the same time. Hindus are a finicky lot I know as a practising Hindu, but Indian muslims must be aware of the Hindu sensitivity because Bharat (India) is home to Dharmic faith and traditions as ancient as the very human civilization. Hindus must not expect from the muslims to prove their patriotism at the drop of their hat. It must hurt horrendously. As for Indian christians, all they have to do is STOP CONVERSIONS using bribes and kick out the foreign missionary mafia, saying a big NO TO EVANGELISM. Indian muslims can try having small families and get better educated. This is all it takes to reassure our Hindu population of one’s good intentions. Hindus must learn to respect and trust both Christians and Muslims. Afterall, if someone left after 1947 it means they found something wanting in Dharma. I am not talking of Sikhs, Jains, Buddhists as they come under the Dharmic fold.
Let us fill our homes and hearts with positive vibes, let us think and speak the best about fellow humans, let us learn to trust each other first. Just go through my old posts. How critical I am about the Abrahamics. But nowhere in my blog have I cheapened anyone or spilled venom or spread the hatred. I have criticized the Abrahamics with due respect to them! I strongly believe that, what we must never wound is, someone’s self-respect and dignity. We don’t have to diminish or demolish someone to establish ourselves. Let go. Like water finds its own surface, Hindu Dharma will find its way through the chaos and mess.
God has no chance with a loveless heart.
Let us give peace a chance. Om Shanti! Om Sai Ram!
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What Veda or Upanishad my part-time househelp read. Her raw bhakthi is most appealing to me and I value her as a better Hindu. She who cannot differentiate between Karma and Dharma spreads her goodness and sunshine all around her. Never tarnishes anyone or anything. Wouldn’t invent an excuse for her shortfalls. Resigned to her social status that she is well aware of being a consequence of our cursed caste system. Yet not a single complaint in life. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter where you are, what is your position. A simple sweet life full of love and affection and hardwork and sincerity and fulfillment and contentment, quality-wise can be so fulfilling and rewarding. That is how I view life. What takeaway can others have from my (insignificant) life. Love or hatred. Positivity or Negativity. Optimism or Pessimism. Cheer & spirit or abusive foul language. Motivation & Inspiration or Despair & Vendetta.
In a world where there is so much of talk-down on negativity and gloom, there is one trait in some of us that may go unnoticed. It is ‘attention seeking’ sneaking in as a domineering streak in those closest to us that most of us grin and bear. Others may disregard such a highhandedness as a personality flaw and move on. Wanting to have the last word in everything, the compelling need to remain under the spotlight, hijacking and steering conversations are a few tell-tale signs that can give away that an attention seeker in our midst.
A very fragile ego, unwillingness to sidestep for others and the strange longing to get into everyone’s good books all at the same time could be the reasons behind a dominant character. A pampered and privileged background cannot be ruled out for the nurture of an attention seeking personality. Characteristically, a noticeable absence in attention seekers is the sense of empathy. Passive aggression is seldom considered a threat and most of us quietly put up with it offering no resistance, not realizing that this is nothing short of bullying.
Some of us don’t give two hoots to attention grabbers. Attention seeking can cause damage to best of relationships in the long run. To those who have had lessons from life, letting others have their small successes comes naturally. Yet when boundaries are breached, there may be grounds for discord. Attention seekers can have their way, because of the complacent company (or cronies) they usually surround themselves with. A sense of amusement may also be reason for some of us to tolerate insolent behaviour.
Maturity is the natural output of a satisfied life. Shying away from attention is a mark of such maturity. It is the string pullers who run the show from behind the scenes in most cases. Being one in the crowd, faceless, nameless is a defence like none other. It is not without a reason it is said that there is safety in numbers. To opt to go unnoticed is an understated elegance, class. To underplay one’s self-importance purposefully is an art very few can master. Lack of urge to prove anything to anyone is a virtue. We retain our identity or perhaps our privacy. The sense of peace lies in coming to terms with reality. We are in contest with no one in life and life is not a race to be won where we have to outwit each other and prove to the rest of the world that we are the best among the pack. It is alright even to be a loser. It is embracing your destiny with grace that is the greatest human virtue.
Class is keeping a low profile. Why should we want audience for everything.It is not our business to steal the thunder from others.
Classism comes not from our clothes and shoes and bags and our automobile, but from the elegant standards we maintain in our life, the way we etch our character. Classism is dignity when we do not lower our standards, when we prescribe the standards.
Waves of fellow humans following our footsteps fast outpace us taking our spot every single minute. Before we may bat our eyelid, we may be gone just like that. We are but a miniscule atom in this universe.
The best of ours will stay with us, come what may. The ones who are with us never leave us. The ones who leave us were never ours.
It is a blessing if some of us need not have to work hard at relationships. It is a gift that some of us need not have to go for it, seek or snatch attention. With a shrug we let go off, conceding defeat to attention seekers, otherwise there may be one hell of a price to pay: the relationship. It can be a sore disappointment discovering the personality flaw of attention seeking in our closest circle.
I am blogging this after a conversation with a friend. I am afraid at the cost of repeating myself for an umpteenth time, i will have to dig from my mother’s school now.
My grandma told me the reason my mother decided to teach the hearing and speech impaired middle school girls. Like any teachers’ training aspirant, she had enrolled in a staff training college in Santhome. But one day when her classes were on, in walked Mother Superior. Out of the entire class, she picked my mother and told her, ‘child, anyone can teach normal kids. but it takes a special someone to teach special kids. go to the class teaching special skills and start teaching deaf and dumb (as they would be referred then) girls.’ This changed my mother’s life as she thought she had gotten her calling. She became a teacher on course completion and served over 16 years teaching teen girls who could not speak or hear – until the very last day of her life.
I and my sister grew up literally in this school campus. It is in Gemini. For term holidays and for their school days, sports days etc., we would be there with our mother until the day she passed away. This school also contains a section for the blind. I grew up thinking disability was normal. I never viewed the loss of speech or hearing or eye sight as handicap at all for years. Watching the blind children in sports day competing in Lemon and spoon race etc, and playing with deaf and mute girls in my mother’s class as equals, probably had had an effect on me that sustains me until today. Back then I had no idea, these were my learning days.
Pious Hindu, my mother still took us to chapel in their catholic convent. Like typical hindu girls we touched the feet of Mother superior and other sisters in her school every time we went there. We lit candles in the chapel and we also visited the Santhome cathedral and Besant Nagar church a little before Christmas to avoid crowds. But we never got mixed up still. Our Hindu roots stayed unwavering through all this.
My mother also had been the first Hindu teacher among the school staff. Before her, only catholic nuns were teaching in their missionary school. After my mother, a few more Hindu teachers joined the school. The initial influence of the christian fraternity was there in my mother who was refusing marriage to serve the disabled kids, but my grandparents prevailed and had her married. So naturally I became the first staff kid in their entire school history, and i remained the most celebrated one until my mother’s last.
In the years when my mother was around, for every Diwali she would hire cooks to make hundreds of sweets like laddoo, jelebi etc., at home along with tins of murukku to distribute to her entire school as most of their kids were hostel girls from poorest families who had abandoned them. Some kids had parents in foreign countries or other places in India who would never pay a visit. My mother and one more teacher regularly brought home 4 to 5 girls for Diwali to celebrate the festival with us. She would get for these girls bangles from Mylapore Mada veedhi and also new clothes. The highlight was, taking them for shopping along with her. It is only after my mother left I understood her sensitivity in these matters. She could not bear the idea of young girls holed up in hostel during Diwali so she would seek special permission from Mother Superior to get home those stranded in their dorms with nowhere to go.
The devotion of teachers in my mother’s school was such that, in order to explain a crow to a blind student, one of the staff caged cleverly a crow in their terrace and brought it to school with the beak tied! The blind children had a chance to touch and feel the crow to know what a bird it really could be. I still remember to this day how animated my mother was telling us about this real life class story. It is in this section of the school that Kamal Hasan filmed his ‘Raja Paarvai’ and my mother did get to watch a lot of shooting then. Every evening I would wait for my mom to tell me what happened at the film set.
The blind section as well as the deaf and dumb sections of the school enrolled boys upto class 5 in those days. From middle school, only girls were allowed to continue. My mother was in charge of class 6 to 8. It meant she went with the girls upto class 8 from class 6 teaching all subjects. She remained with these girls for a 3 continuous years before returning to take on a fresh batch at standard 6 again. Each class had a maximum of 10 to 12 girls, with every girl fitted with a mike and a hearing aid. My mother spoke the sign language of the deaf and dumb to them and had yearly staff training for improving teaching methods. Because she remained with the girls for 3 years, she shared an intimate familial bond with her class girls always. For the girls, their teacher who was with them 8 to 3 for all week days became an obsession. After her they refused to learn from another teacher for next 6 months, Special kids are known for their adamancy. It took the school more than half an year to coax my mother’s girls to accept an other teacher in her place.
I cannot forget the mass in memory of my mother in their school chapel when there were over a thousand blind, deaf and dumb children crying their heart out. For the first time I cried for my mother in happiness because I saw how much she was loved by her children. Indeed the entire school had turned up for her last journey including the catholic church, filling streets. They took over her final ritual after the Hindu ceremonies and read from Bible etc. My mother was also a daughter of the church at the same time.
This brings to my memory the girl Rosy who was my mother’s pupil who finished her SSLC. She was an orphan who had lived in the hostel lifelong. School rules required that once a candidate finished school, she must not remain a single day extra in the campus. Church found a boy for Rosy to marry. Only, she needed a place to stay on for a month or more until her wedding date. My mother got Rosy home. I and my sister called her ‘Rosy akka.’ She was with us for over a month and one day her groom came to see her. He sounded pompous and my mother put him right in his place. She was assertive that Rosy was not in any way less than him. There was tension in the air. But then he finally came around. They had a happy marriage and after the wedding the couple did visit us once. What stays in my memory is how my mother was protective about Rosy like a mother hen, defending her and indignant that her girl must be thought inferior to anyone because of her handicap.
my mother stands behind Amrita chithi (one facing cam with flowers) my mother is the one with thilakam in her forehead. Amrita chithi did not marry and was older to my mother. still my mother asked us to call her chithi to make her feel younger perhaps… my mother’s rare sensitivity for these small things amazes me… my mother is the centermost in her trademark voile sari (cotton). picture does no justice to her classic beauty. i think this pic might have been clicked during her teacher training days. my chithi with bordered sari is the left most. Satya studio, Mylapore. right extreme is Shantha chithi also older to my mom! very late marriage so we called her only chithi! how many of us think of such nuances even today…
I have to mention Lakshmi Periyamma here (that is how we called mother’s colleagues. either periyamma or chithi) who also worked in my mother’s school, who had joined long after her. She lived in our street too. She was widowed immediately after her marriage and she came from an Iyer family. Only daughter to her rich parents, her father had retired from govt service drawing handsome pension by those days standards. They were comfortably off even if Lakshmi Periamma cut a sorry figure. My mother had utmost sympathy for her situation. The family lived in a far spacious house than ours. Financially they were equal or probably better off than us. Never did once this periyamma mix with the kids the way my mother did when she was around. Not a single girl came home. Nor were sweets shared with the kids. Rosy akka could have comfortably stayed with their family instead of ours. We were 6 of us sharing our house and with Rosy we became 7. What prevented Lakshmi periamma from taking Rosi to her home. Caste. I don’t have much respect for my own Mudaliar community, but I can say this one thing about my folks. So long as you don’t go after their sons and daughters they are fine. Generally a bit they are inclined towards charity. Many do put humanity first over religion. This is what I told my friend today. What prevented Lakshmi periamma from putting humanity first over religion was the shastra sampradaya. In spite of being a devout Hindu, what my mother refused to let anything come in between her and humanity was the Dharma which she believed in and practised in real life.
Raised by this woman until my 14th year almost, how could I ever think otherwise.
The difference between Lakshmi teacher and Susheela teacher perhaps is the difference between Shankaracharya and EVR Periyar in my opinion. I don’t believe in a faith that relegates humanity to a secondary position over customs and rituals. It so happens that it is those in the service of God who seem to miss the of essence of Dharma sadly. Dharma is unfortunately in the hands of some narrow-minded sections who interpret Dharma totally wrong. மனித நேயம் இல்லாத ஆச்சாரத்தில் எனக்கு உடன்பாடும் கிடையாது மரியாதையும் கிடையாது.This strong conviction of mine will not make me any less Hindu.
Thanks a zillion my dear mom, wherever you are shining from as a bright star in this universe… It will be 39 years this July since you left me, but there is not a day I don’t think of you or weep for you. You just made your daughter cry. Why did not I hug you more when you were there, why did not I talk to you more. What a fine woman you were. Do you know mother, I don’t see many like you even 4 decades after you left. Which is why I remember you more with each passing day. You taught me empathy, you taught me compassion, you taught me that nothing is more important or sacred over humanity. From your staunch independence as a working woman from 1966 when you married, i gained my own bold and independent streak. In your absence you manifested yourself a lot in me that I am becoming more and more like you every day. Only I am living longer than you.
I remember you giving your new favourite sari to our housemaid Kanniamma a teenager who took an instant liking to it. You did not think twice before wrapping the sari around her the very next moment. You got her married with seer senathai as if she was your own daughter that when you passed away 3 months after her marriage, she and her husband gave their first born your name ‘Susheela.’ They even printed your name in their auto, Ma. I am so proud of you, even so long after you have gone…
Thank you so much for making me the way I am. Your grandson is even a step forward. You are the first person I want to embrace when it will be my time. God took you back soon because you were a Goddess too. You are my guiding spirit, guardian angel. With lots of love, your daughter. How I wish I could cook you a meal for you, get you a sari… My mother who refused to wear silk that came from killing thousands of mulberry worms, except for her wedding day and grihaprevesham…
I am a chip of that old block. Don’t expect me to be any different…
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என் தாய் போகாத கோவிலா பண்ணாத பூஜையா. அவளுக்கு தெரியாத தர்மமா கர்மா வினையா.
The Sai Baba shrine in Mylapore… My mother was probably their first devotee. As a little girl she and my aunt used to go there when it was a thatched hut and had no visitor. Literally nothing. The founder sadhu would bless my mother every single day. She had become his favourite child. My grandma used to say, my mother was a very special atma with a lot of blessings. That is why she left early.
Beloved to her alma mater, that’s my school, my HM Ms. Satyabhama sent my class teacher and my sister’s, to lay wreath on my mom on behalf of my school. An honour like none received.
Someone with refined aesthetic senses, my mother sewed rarely and nurtured a beautiful terrace garden that bloomed with myriad flowers all the year around. In my parents house at a different place, my mother planted dozens of trees some of which live until today (while some were felled). Unique were the ceylon red coconut trees that she planted with her own hands. After her time, we gifted her sewing machine to a poor tailor. A voracious reader of Tamil novels, her precious and possessive collection of sepia tinted bound volumes from the torn pages of Kalki., Kumudham, Anandha vikatan were taken away by friends never to be returned. A hindi film buff, her last muse were Nazia Hassan and Zoheb Hassan and Runa Leila of Bollywood music.
Fondly remembered by our former neighbourhood Mamis who recall my mother getting the first mixer grinder and tv in our street. Saturdays were devoted to grinding kitchen powders and chutneys for all mamis of the street.
There was not a life my mother did not touch in the short span she lived. “There will be none like Susheela’ say the Mamis, the Susheela I never got to know wholly.
தங்கத்தை புடம் போட்டால் தான் தங்கம்னு ஊர்ஜிதமாய் சொல்ல முடியும். புடத்தில் இடப்படாமலே நான் தங்கம் நான் தங்கம்னா எப்படி.
There is no way you can define happiness or positivity without seeing extreme tragedy or negativity in life. Anyone who may speak otherwise is like a character in the ‘blind men and the elephant’ story we all grew up listening to. One blind man feels the ear of the elephant and says its like a fan. The one who holds its trunk says its like a snake. The third who touches the elephant’s side says its like a wall. The next one who holds the tail says it is like a rope. The final one who moves his hand over the tusk says the elephant is like a spear. This encapsulates human tendency to measure anything and everything with our own yardstick. The elephant is nothing like the blind men perceive. Happiness and positivity to some are like the blind men’s perceptions.
Perceptions as we see differ from individual to individual. Happiness and Positivity are not subjective by nature. They are more objective in the sense, you can relate to them by context. Confining them to narrow dimensions is neither right nor fair. Like how the elephant is unlike the blind men’s perceptions, happiness and positivity cannot be confined to any individual’s definition.
How can you bring happiness to a kid orphaned in present covid circumstances for instance. You can only hope for him/her to find relative happiness in future. How can you talk positivity to this godforsaken child. He/she may grow up into cautiously optimistic individual at the best.
Negativity to me is lacking love and respect, denying someone their dignity, dashing hopes, being inhospitable, insensitive, lacking empathy and compassion.
I wouldn’t want to go into this subject again. I have done it once. Enabling link here:
Someone who has seen the darkness can appreciate the light at the end of the tunnel better. Unqualified happiness is like a mirage. Unreal and shallow without a depth. Blessed are those who have not been subject to the task of whisking happiness out of vacuum by destiny.
Life experiences may mold some of us into different individuals. There is happiness in doing things by ourselves. For ourselves. For others. There is this sense of gratification in taking home the first paycheck however small it could be if it is our own sweat and blood… This is the moment we reckon our self-worthiness… Someone wanting to share their life with us for what we are – as an atma, as an entity that’s the next peak we can scale. Basking in that special gift that life bestows is unlike any other euphoria we may experience other than mothering our child There is pride in doing things on our own not taking orders from anyone. There is happiness in picking our own groceries and provisions. Cooking our own food, dusting our house with our own hands, even rinsing and pressing clothes can be self-satisfying however menial the chores could be. We are doing something productive and that is by itself a positive feeling . There is this unbeatable sense of euphoria acknowledging that we are self-made. … There is happiness in making a meaningful life, building our beautiful blissful home when the very earth under our foot has been shifting, shaking and spinning. There is this unparalleled sense of gratitude realizing that we have made it in life proving our critics wrong. And then finally comes over this sense of peace like the jewel in the crown, when we don’t have the urge to prove anything to anyone any longer. That we are complete on our own. We don’t wait for anyone’s appraisal or approval. We can live without that applause. We do not want to have that last word in everything. We let others have their small successes…
Positivity is the sheer will to squeeze a lemonade when life hands us down lemons . That is how I arrived here. The easiest way out is to quit. Nobody handed down anything to some of us in silver platter. We have had to beg, borrow, scrounge and swallow self-respect on the way. At the end of the day if we refuse to vent our frustration on third parties and put up a big smile for everyone, then that is what qualifies for true happiness and positivity.
I am therefore I am. I cannot be a hundred percent happy and perfect individual always but I strive to be happy despite what life has done to me. Embers of painful memories remain in the backburner. Not knowing the moment when they will make it to the surface, those of us who have been at the lowest ebb of our lives can never think of happiness without recalling our sadness that seasoned us. We are hopefuls despite the odds.
That rare gift of empathy in some of us is from life experiences. To me this exceptional sense of perception is the one positivity that counts. Happiness is an attitude when we wear it with pride when the scars earned shine like the striped stars…
vijiravindran's 