Tag: attention seeking

Posted in Lateral Thinking

Validation is for Attention seekers.

Posted on by veeskitchen

Why for some of us validation or proving a point NEVER matters:

LOved this whatsapp forward:

When Valmiki completed his Ramayana, Narada wasn’t impressed. ‘It is good, but Hanuman’s is better’, he said.

‘Hanuman has written the Ramayana too!’, Valmiki didn’t like this at all, and wondered whose Ramayana was better.

So he set out to find Hanuman.

In Kadali-vana, grove of plantains, he found Ramayana inscribed on seven broad leaves of a banana tree.

He read it and found it to be perfect. The most exquisite choice of grammar and vocabulary, metre and melody. He couldn’t help himself. He started to cry.

‘Is it so bad?’ asked Hanuman..

‘No, it is so good’, said Valmiki..

‘Then why are you crying?’ asked Hanuman.

‘Because after reading your Ramayana no one will read my Ramayana,’ replied Valmiki.

Hearing this Hanuman simply tore up the seven banana leaves stating
“Now no one will ever read Hanuman’s Ramayana.'”

Valmiki was shocked to see this action of Hanuman and asked him why he did this, Hanuman said, ‘You need your Ramayana more than I need mine.

You wrote your Ramayana so that the world remembers Valmiki;
I wrote my Ramayana so that I remember Ram.’

At that moment he realized how he had been consumed by the desire for validation through his work.

He had not used the work to liberate himself from the fear of invalidation.

He had not appreciated the essence of Ram’s tale to unknot his mind.

His Ramayana was a product of ambition;
but
Hanuman’s Ramayana was a product of pure devotion & affection.

That’s why Hanuman’s Ramayana sounded so much better.

That is when Valmiki realized that “Greater than Ram …. is the name of Ram!”

There are people like Hanuman who don’t want to be famous. They just do their jobs and fulfill their purpose.

There are many unsung “Hanumans” in our life too, our spouse, mother, father, friends, let’s remember them and be grateful to all.

In this world, where everyone is highlighting his work and seeking validation, let us just do our karma because he who matters, the almighty God, knows without telling him and in the end, it is actually just he who matters.

⚜️ Jai Shri Rami⚜️

Posted in Food For Soul

Attention Seeking: A Serious Character Flaw

Posted on by veeskitchen

In a world where there is so much of talk-down on negativity and gloom, there is one trait in some of us that may go unnoticed. It is ‘attention seeking’ sneaking in as a domineering streak in those closest to us that most of us grin and bear. Others may disregard such a highhandedness as a personality flaw and move on. Wanting to have the last word in everything, the compelling need to remain under the spotlight, hijacking and steering conversations are a few tell-tale signs that can give away that an attention seeker in our midst.

A very fragile ego, unwillingness to sidestep for others and the strange longing to get into everyone’s good books all at the same time could be the reasons behind a dominant character. A pampered and privileged background cannot be ruled out for the nurture of an attention seeking personality. Characteristically, a noticeable absence in attention seekers is the sense of empathy. Passive aggression is seldom considered a threat and most of us quietly put up with it offering no resistance, not realizing that this is nothing short of bullying.

Some of us don’t give two hoots to attention grabbers. Attention seeking can cause damage to best of relationships in the long run. To those who have had lessons from life, letting others have their small successes comes naturally. Yet when boundaries are breached, there may be grounds for discord. Attention seekers can have their way, because of the complacent company (or cronies) they usually surround themselves with. A sense of amusement may also be reason for some of us to tolerate insolent behaviour.

Maturity is the natural output of a satisfied life. Shying away from attention is a mark of such maturity. It is the string pullers who run the show from behind the scenes in most cases. Being one in the crowd, faceless, nameless is a defence like none other. It is not without a reason it is said that there is safety in numbers. To opt to go unnoticed is an understated elegance, class. To underplay one’s self-importance purposefully is an art very few can master. Lack of urge to prove anything to anyone is a virtue. We retain our identity or perhaps our privacy. The sense of peace lies in coming to terms with reality. We are in contest with no one in life and life is not a race to be won where we have to outwit each other and prove to the rest of the world that we are the best among the pack. It is alright even to be a loser. It is embracing your destiny with grace that is the greatest human virtue.

Class is keeping a low profile. Why should we want audience for everything. It is not our business to steal the thunder from others.

Classism comes not from our clothes and shoes and bags and our automobile, but from the elegant standards we maintain in our life, the way we etch our character. Classism is dignity when we do not lower our standards, when we prescribe the standards.

Waves of fellow humans following our footsteps fast outpace us taking our spot every single minute. Before we may bat our eyelid, we may be gone just like that. We are but a miniscule atom in this universe.

The best of ours will stay with us, come what may. The ones who are with us never leave us. The ones who leave us were never ours.

It is a blessing if some of us need not have to work hard at relationships. It is a gift that some of us need not have to go for it, seek or snatch attention. With a shrug we let go off, conceding defeat to attention seekers, otherwise there may be one hell of a price to pay: the relationship. It can be a sore disappointment discovering the personality flaw of attention seeking in our closest circle.