For years or may be for decades in Mylapore, we shopped for ‘swami’ saris, Navratri gift saris for Sumanglis, blouse pieces to give in thamboolam, pavadai-chattai (lehenga choli) for ‘kanya pongal’ (little girls not come off age) to gift for Navratri etc., from this store popular with the local residents. It used to be tucked in a narrow congested connecting street right opposite the Kapaleeshwara temple street, leading to Kutchery road. This lane of a street is also reputed for Bharatnatyam dressmakers, silver jewelry etc.
This particular cloth store would have no standing space. Cramped, we had to be seated on the floor mat as the sales girls would spread their wares for our selections. The owner was an affable middle-aged man. I always shopped in bulk from here. He never forgot to give me a standard 10% discount. Whenever I couldn’t I would ask my Mylapore friend to shop for me. She and I meet frequently. So somehow or other she would pass on the package to me. Our famous shopping was about the Paalum Pazhamum sari in silk cotton that we all got in similar colours and draped the same day during our first Kumbakonam pilgrimage tour. I gifted my Doha friends also the same. May be my friend told me about what happened to the store. I probably forgot.
So now that the store has moved to North Mada street and is more accessible than ever before, I was here last evening to shop for Navratri. Shocked to see the owner hanging in a garlanded framed picture in the even more cramped place where his missus was in the cash counter. I asked her gently about him and she said that even though he completed his duties as a father and saw that their two children got married and settled in life, he left her alone as he succumbed to a massive heart attack one fine day. That was two years back. There were tears in her eyes as she said that. She is also a grandmother. Otherwise she said, she lacked for nothing. She never knew of textiles or sales. She was here after struggles and she was making it on her own. She was managing fine and she was carrying on his legacy. She asked me whether her husband ever gave me any discount. I hesitated but told her he normally gave me 10% off that she did too. I took it gladly because I was happy she was able to afford that. She is assisted by a strong team of young sharp girls who are on their toes. I remember their faces from years before. Not over 25. They must have received hands-on training from their erstwhile boss and owner. It was such a humbling moment for me to meet this fine and affectionate new-to-business woman who took on the mantle from her husband and was steadying her foot in a very competitive male-dominated world. The mere mention of her husband’s name moved her emotionally I could see. She is still grieving his loss. I asked for her name. Then I realized the shop was named after her: Rajarajeshwari cloth store. As usual I shopped for over half a dozen cotton saris, dozen blouse pieces, pavadai chattais for kanya ponnu etc. Her girls neatly packed everything and gave me extra cotton bags for the gift saris.
It is the kind of understanding that a fellow woman has for another woman: what we two shared yesterday. I was touched by the widowed woman’s love, affection and respect for her husband who was no more. It scared me a little to think of her position. That made me see her vulnerability even more. But she was doing a fantastic job, working for the first time in her life after becoming a grandma perhaps, in her 50s. Its not a huge business with impressive turnover. But it was a decent job that paid well. We took selfies. She took one in her phone too. Moments like this humble us. For the owner and his wife, I felt something. May be the Mylapore connection. Only business interests we shared. But we seemed to have traversed some empty space. We seemed to have connected by some other way in the metaphysical. As fellow humans. This is our culture you see. The woman is not dating again. Not looking for another partner. Living in her husband’s memory. Family is everything. Carrying on her husband’s mission. Why should the world call us a patriarchal society. Nothing good, they want to leave in original shape without tarnishing. They have to contort anything holy and make it vulgar. Sacrilege is the new rationality and justice. As old values live and genuine warmth and familial relationships appear to be not just thriving but get celebrated, I found a new hope for the tomorrow. May be not all is lost. I bid her goodbye. In her I earnt a friend. This sweet down-to-earth woman is someone who I shall go back to. #humansofchennai
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