Really I envy the sewing women, crocheting ones, embroidering girls, etc., etc., because this kind of creativity I cannot even dream of. No PATIENCE or focus first of all and my hands are not made for crafts. Same with stringing flowers (poo thodukkaradhu) or drawing big kolams/rangolis (i can do decent ones but no inclination). No interest in learning Tanjore painting or Madhubani work either. No such thing as a hobby. Gardening miserable. No appetite for pets although I would like to pet friends.’ Kitchen is only for cooking the most essential, nutritious fare never for coming out with tantalizing exciting gourmet recipes. Bare minimum. For mithais and regional/exotic cuisines, there are always the restaurants! At least some knowledge or interest in music, dance, fine arts? Noooo. Leagues away from all these areas. Books/reading habit, only elementary and basic. Fitness regimen – only as much as my body permits and my body tires easily! So what to do after 50 with menopause staring at your face, with the empty nest beckoning us middle-aged women day after day. Physically we are tired as our hormones go for a swing. Emotionally we are drained. Housewives for a long, long time. Can we take up a job after this age. Can we even survive a part-time job let alone a 9 to 5 one. Once upon a time before I married, I gave tuition in Maths to many high school kids and first and second year graduate students. Even mathematics beyond Pythagoras theorem is something I can’t recall in this age. Trying to figure out where we are headed in life from this stage. To those of us who have kids still in universities there is still more time at hands. Those of us whose kids have to find love yet/marry have some breathing time as well. Looks like late marriage and late parenthood can turn out to be blessings later on in life!!! But absolutely no regrets. There are many, many women I know who would just love to trade places with some of us others for whom life gallops stage after stage at express speed. As MS amma gives life to Rajaji’s words, ‘Kurai Ondrum Illai’ honestly. Life has bestowed some of us with the best we could have ever hoped for. Starting trouble for some of us like me, but Mother Goddess more than compensated. From now on health of our life partners, career success and happiness of kids become newest priorities. Comfortably settled with our ambitious other halves having attained their goals, from this point on, nobody will miss us if we leave. This is soothing thought as well as hurting sentiment at the same time! Over all, we are over the bend. The future we look forward to is lot less to what distance we have already covered so far… A sense of gratitude washes over you… While at this, the soul craves for peace. The heart still is tender and can hold more. Solitude is the best medium to find that elusive contentment we women are seeking.
I hope I got my priorities right in life… Is this what we call middle-age crisis?
vijiravindran's 