Last one month has been a roller coaster one for me. 2026 is not yet over. But what a ride it has been so far! Two weeks earlier, I got a reassurance from saakshaath Divine Mother Lalitha Maha Tripura Sundari Herself that all will be well. Although I have had some darshans of deities who I worship (in my visions on awakening), I never have had Ma Lalitha come to me so far. That She had to come to me in the most difficult of moments, is Her will and wish perhaps. That’s how She appeared in my life as well. I never got it until recently. She took over my life 33 years ago and has been behind every step of mine correcting me and nudging me towards Her slowly but steadily all this time. Even this rarest darshan of Hers that came as a vision was only a sidewards or slant view of how She is seated in Thirumeeyachur. No direct view. But I guess even the Kaligambal view was crystal clear until it zoomed into the sanctum santorum in my vision. The praharas were clearest but the deity was hazy.The garbagraha vision was lacking clarity (on purpose?). But even this is more than enough for me. She came to me at most critical moment when I least expected Her. Not that I did not believe even for a second She was away. She has been throughout with me but showed evidence when I least expected it.
Not only Ma Lalitha Parameshwari, my own biological mother appeared in my dreams last week just a night or so before we faced a critical day. There is this school ground or perhaps a stadium where children are playing. May be a sports event was being held. The side stands look packed. I go to her sitting in the stands and ask her permission to go to a shopping mall with a friend of mine (as if I had been doing it all my life! so casual!). She says, ‘ I know you two can take care and you will return safe.’ These were her precise words (almost). It was only in the morning I realized the true meaning of her words. She looked much younger and prettier like I had never seen her in my life. May be she looked like that before my birth! She was in her very sweet version. She who left me over 44 years ago probably chose to stay in her younger physical form in the eternity. An Ambal Upasaka years back told me, my mother is not reborn at all. Very proud to be the daughter of this soul who must have escaped the vicious karmic birth cycle. Very punya atma who taught hearing and speech impaired middle school girls until the last day of her life. After almost 20 years, she was back in my dreams. With a veiled message that was indeed a blessing.
Twin blessings when I needed Divine Grace the most.
I see a lot of discussion on Lalitha Sahasranama in social media. Its true when I started the parayana decades back, I was seeking material benefits, better life. But with time, I lost interest in acquisitions. Nowadays I chant not only Lalitha Sahasranama but any shloka or mantra for sheer pleasure or bliss of it. I do seek help – after all I am human. I pray for the health and well being of my family and friends. I try not to seek material benefits. Of late I also try not to pray in a way that may alter someone’s karma. So these days my seeking favours is very minimal and matter-of-factly. I am aware of the thing called destiny and I understand even Gods have limited powers in altering our Karma. Yes, our Ishta Devta CAN rewrite our destiny – because I believe mine is rewritten by none other than Ma Lalitha Herself, and I do count myself extremely blessed for being in Her favour; yet barring exceptions, changing our karmic destiny may be next to impossible. So did Lalitha Sahasranama do the wonders for me. As I have heard a Guru say, Ma gives you what you want. If you have materialistic aspirations, you will succeed in your efforts. But if you move away with a purpose to know Her better, She will take you one level up. She may start to promote you spiritually and it is at this point She may begin to change your destiny – for the better. She after all gives one what one seeks. Many stop with material gratification. We all start any chanting ritual or prayer with a motive, to begin with, but gradually we have to wean off and move towards unselfish seeking. This is my personal experience. So nobody returns empty handed from Divine Mother’s.
The physical manifestation of any deity in idol form (Saguna worship) is only the starting point. Eventually serious seekers realize the Nirguna form of god. In some world religions, the Nirguna worship is thrust upon masses who cannot come to grips with the immensity of the One Supreme. This is why they become religious bigots. Spiritual maturation must be a gradual process. It must be like climbing a pyramid. You cannot attempt to summit the peak overnight in one giant leap. You have to take step after careful step. Saguna or idol worship is for laymen but it is the best form to improve your focus and manifest energy forms (deities) so that the deities will themselves lead you on to Nirguna worship (formless) of theirs in course of time. Generally masses stop at this level. It is for the determined to proceed from this entry point. Hindu Dharma does not stop with idol worship. But it is a good starting point nevertheless. It is for the truly motivated to progress from this threshold to higher realms. The immensity of Divine Mother who rules the multiverse is not something any of us can comprehend. However, relating to Her saguna form is the simplest way for me to reach out to Her. I do wonder in amazement at the Para Shakthi that She is. Sanskrit scriptures hail Her as the ruler of the multiverse. But Her choosing to come to me the way I can most understand Her, is like how a Mother tries to speak to a child in baby language that the child can understand. That is how merciful She is. Extremely considerate. Just writing about Her fills my heart to the brim.
I am no Guru or Pandit or Swami or Vedic or Pujari or anything. A mere grandmother/mother/housewife here who dwells day in and day out in the world of domesticity of family life. This is what I am capable of in my limited capacity as a simpleton seeker. But even this slight and imperfect devotion of mine is respected and answered back and rewarded by my Divine Mother. She ignores nobody. That is Her grace. Every moment Mother is with me. That gives me the strength to go on.
vijiravindran's 